


Not Everything Starts Vanilla

by elirwen



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, BDSM, Bondage, Dom Merlin, Dom/sub, Dom/sub to Lovers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Impact Play, M/M, Medical Kink, Past Abuse, Porn, Praise Kink, Prostate Massage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 17:54:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8810359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elirwen/pseuds/elirwen
Summary: After an amazing public scene, Merlin goes looking for a more private play. He meets Arthur, and a bit of fun turns into so much more.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For more warnings, read the end notes.
> 
> Because I had a complaint about dubcon in a comment and I know for sure Merlin wouldn't let any dubcon happen, so I'd like to state here for everyone to see that Merlin didn't drink alcohol before scene and Arthur had one small beer and enough time to sober up.

The club is crowded but not more so than on any other Friday night. He makes his way to the bar, needing a drink, something nonalcoholic to quench his thirst. 

A glass of coke in hand, he turns towards the stage, watching the crew cleaning up after the last scene and dragging new pieces of equipment from behind the curtain. Usually he manages to catch at least half of the scene following his, but Mordred has been particularly receptive tonight. 

He let Merlin wind ropes around his body, completely relaxed even when suspended in air, allowing Merlin to touch every inch of exposed skin. He gasped through orgasm after orgasm as Merlin ran two vibrating toys over his body, trying to jerk away when Merlin pressed both to his cock after one of his orgasms, dragging them up and down the oversensitive flesh for several long minutes. 

All of it reflected in the need for prolonged aftercare. Mordred's legs barely supported him when he was unbound and Merlin wrapped him in a soft bathrobe, leading him to one of the back rooms. They cuddled on the couch. Mordred nodded off and Merlin let him have a 20 minute nap before waking him up and making sure he'd be okay on his own. He refused Mordred's offer of a blowjob and left him to his shower. 

Merlin rarely got off during his public scenes, completely focused on his sub to make sure they were comfortable and consenting to anything he'd do to them with audience watching. His subs on the other hand rarely left the stage without coming at least once. Sometimes he finished backstage. Some subs even liked it to be part of their aftercare, seeing the effects their play had on Merlin's arousal. Other times he'd go back to the club and find a partner for private play which is also his plan for tonight.

He could go for one of the familiar faces. There seems to be a lot of them around and he's fairly sure he'd pull on the first try, but then he spots a guy he doesn't know yet, tall, blonde, filling out his T-shirt perfectly, walking towards the bar. 

Most people would assume him to be a Dom, but Merlin noticed him earlier during his session. He didn't spend much time looking at the audience, but he couldn't miss the blonde in the second row of tables, staring at Mordred, his hands clamped tight around the armrests of his chair. Next time he looked he caught the blonde blatantly checking him out, biting his lip, so he gave him a knowing smirk in return, amused when the guy averted his eyes, blush most likely spreading over his cheeks. 

He sidles up to the stranger as he's ordering his drink.

“I haven't seen you here yet,” Merlin says.

The guy looks at him, his eyes widening in recognition.

“My first time here,” he says and takes a long swig of the beer the barman just handed him. 

“Enjoying yourself so far?” Merlin asks, leaning against the bar. 

“Uhm… Yes?” he says and this time Merlin can tell for sure he's blushing.

“I'm Merlin by the way,” Merlin introduces himself.

“Arthur,” the blonde says. 

“Nice to meet you,” Merlin says. “How about we take this conversation somewhere more private?”

Arthur visibly tenses but relaxes again when he notices Merlin is motioning to the secluded tables in the back of the room, not the entrance to the private rooms. He'll have to be careful. He might be dealing with a complete newbie here. 

 

*

 

Apparently, Arthur isn't a newbie. He subbed for his boyfriend before they broke up over a month ago, as Merlin learns amongst other things during their conversation on random topics, Merlin's way of breaking the ice.

“Would you like me to top you?” Merlin asks bluntly.

“Just like that?” Arthur asks, gripping his glass of beer hard.

“Of course, we'd discuss the boundaries and wouldn't go past basics for the first time, but yeah, just like that,” Merlin says. 

Arthur visibly swallows, his eyes glued to the table. 

“No pressure, alright?” Merlin adds. “You're a great company and we can draw the line at talking. I can beat off in the shower when I'm back home. Wouldn't be the first time.” He grins at Arthur.

“Okay?” Arthur says.

“Alright, I'll get us more drinks then. Or do you want to go back to watching the show. Wouldn't want to keep you from enjoying yourself. Avalon is well known for its public scenes.”

“No, I mean, okay, let's do it,” Arthur says. “Top me, please,” the last words quiet and almost apologetic, as if Arthur didn't believe Merlin wanted him despite Merlin being the one to have asked him in the first place.

“I'll still get us something to drink. We have things to discuss.”

 

*

 

“Take off your shirt and get on your knees,” Merlin orders, showing Arthur the exact spot where he wants him.

He guides Arthur's hands behind his back, tying them together at his wrists with a piece of soft but firm fabric. 

“Don't speak unless I tell you to. You're allowed to make noises,” Merlin says. ”Try to relax for me,” he says, massaging the tense muscles of Arthur's shoulders. “You're doing so well,” he says when he feels the tension bleed away bit by bit. 

He wraps a rope around Arthur's torso, creating a diamond pattern. It won't restrain his movement, but it will press into his skin and give Merlin more ways to manhandle him if need be. 

Merlin circles him, surveying his work. Arthur's breathing grows heavy, his skin flushed with arousal. Merlin retrieves another strip of soft fabric from the table, using it as a blindfold.

“Colour?” he asks.

“Green,” Arthur says without hesitation.

Merlin kneels behind him, presses close, Arthur's tied hands trapped between their bodies. He tugs at the rope around Arthur's chest experimentally, circles Arthur's nipple before giving it a gentle squeeze. Arthur gasps quietly, muscles of his stomach contracting as Merlin continues touching, pressing, tugging at random all over his front. 

He jerks forward when Merlin presses over the bulge in his trousers without warning, Merlin's hold stopping him from tipping over. 

“Easy,” Merlin murmurs into his ear, tracing the outline of Arthur's cock. 

He slides his hand inside Arthur's trousers, bypassing his cock and reaching further down to play with Arthur's balls.

“Fuck,” Arthur gasps, dropping his head on Merlin's shoulder.

“I said no talking,” Merlin reprimands him, pulling his hand free of Arthur's trousers. “Keep still,” he instructs Arthur before he stands up and unties his hands.

He drags a low bench over to Arthur and guides him to bend over, chest flat on the surface, hands gripping the bench's legs. 

“As you know, breaking the rules means punishment,” Merlin says, picking up a paddle.

He had subs who enjoyed hard, stingy beatings, but also others who couldn't take more than a mild spanking, so he needs to find out where Arthur fits. For that a large, padded leather paddle should be perfect.

“We'll start with five,” he says, dragging the paddle over Arthur's still clothed butt, to give him some sort of an idea of what to expect.

The first blow is hardly a blow, yet Arthur tenses all over, his knuckles white from how hard he grips the bench legs. Merlin adds just a little more force into the second and third one, watching Arthur's breathing turn shallow. 

“Colour?” he asks.

“Green,” Arthur grits out and bites his lip, but it sounds off, making Merlin even more unsure whether he should continue.

He gives Arthur's buttocks another two mostly symbolic blows and drops the paddle on the floor.

“You can let go now,” he says and helps Arthur stand, wrapping him in a hug when he sees how badly he's shaking. “You were so good for me,” he whispers, making a mental note to talk to Arthur about the importance of honesty during scenes. “Let's lie down,” he says, pulling Arthur towards a bed at the side of the room.

He had something else planned, but he's hesitant to try anymore pain play after a reaction like this. Instead he guides Arthur to lie down, binds his arms to his chest, bent, hands resting over his breast bone. Then he turns him on his side and lies down behind him. He pulls at the rope around Arthur's body, traces it with his fingertips, slowly from Arthur's neck down to the line crossing his lower belly. 

Just like before, Arthur gasps when Merlin touches his half hard cock, teasing it through his trousers. He doesn't utter a word though when Merlin flips his fly open and works his cock into full hardness, only bitten off, painfully shy moans leaving his lips. 

“Tell me, did you go to the bathroom after my scene ended. Did you jerk off in one of the cubicles?” Merlin asks, kneading Arthur's cock with his palm. 

“Yes,” Arthur gasps. 

“I bet it didn't take much. I bet you came after a few tugs like a horny teenager. I bet you'd come in your trousers after barely a touch if I jumped down the stage and touched you.”

Arthur turns his face into the mattress, trying to hide his embarrassment, but he continues pressing into Merlin's fist, racing towards completion. 

“It's okay. Nothing to be ashamed of,” Merlin reassures him, allowing himself a bit of relief for the first time that evening, rolling his hips against Arthur's backside. “Did you imagine being in Mordred's place, forced to come again and again and again?”

Arthur's orgasm takes them both by surprise, series of broken moans leaving Arthur's lips, his cum spilling over Merlin's fingers as he continues stroking him through the aftershocks. He stops when he sees Arthur struggling against his bindings, breathing erratic, and rolls Arthur onto his front. He climbs on top of him, rubbing himself against his butt. He presses Arthur deepeer into the mattress as his climax draws near, breathing hard before not breathing at all as he spills inside his trousers, the pleasure overwhelming in its intensity.

Now who's the horny teenager here, he thinks as he collects the strength to move from crushing Arthur to something more comfortable for both of them.

“You okay?” he asks as he starts working on untying Arthur, getting only a faint “uhum” in response.

He smiles at that, finishing freeing Arthur's limbs and removing the blindfold. He clambers off the bed in search of wet wipes to clean Arthur up a bit before they continue with some more cuddling, but when he turns back, he finds Arthur attempting to stand up.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“Leaving?” Arthur asks, looking confused. “Or are we still playing?” he asks, the confused look turning into something more akin to worry.

Horrible suspicion spreads through Merlin's guts. 

“You know what aftercare is, right?” he asks.

“You already asked me whether I'm fine,” Arthur says, back to confused.

“That's not...” Merlin starts, shocked by the implications. “Holy shit… Is that how your ex ended the scenes?”

“...Yeah?” Arthur answers, hesitant.

“Wow. What an arsehole,” Merlin says, striding back towards the bed. “I'll show you what proper aftercare looks like.”

After a while of Arthur's unease, he melts into Merlin's embrace once more. He's completely pliant as Merlin pets him and explains how aftercare works and why it's necessary.

 

*

 

After their first scene, Merlin didn't hide his interest in more playing and Arthur agreed to meet him in a café the next day. 

“This is a bit weird,” Arthur says with a strangled laugh, playing with the lid on his cup.

Merlin doesn't have much inhibition when it comes to talking about BDSM practices in public, but he can understand Arthur might not see it the same way.

“How about we go for a walk? There's this spot in the nearby park which is usually empty.”

“Alright,” Arthur nods and they gather their drinks and sandwiches, heading out the door. 

Merlin fills the time needed to get to their destination talking about mundane things, asking about Arthur's work and family, about his hobbies, but once they're alone on a bench he goes straight to the topic.

“I will go over some basics first,” he says, and starts going over terminology and consent issues.

Arthur nods as he talks, but it's obvious there's a lot he's hearing for the first time. 

“I'm not trying to blame you, but when I asked you for the colour after using a paddle on you yesterday, you lied. Why?” Merlin asks.

“I...” Arthur starts, looking at the ground, thinking. 

Merlin gives him time, knowing that it's important for Arthur to figure this out for himself.

“I didn't want to disappoint you,” he says eventually.

“You wouldn't,” Merlin assures him. “I know I used the term punishment, but even that should be something you want me to do to you. Do you even like impact play?” he asks.

“Some of it,” Arthur says. “It was okay what you did yesterday, it's just… My ex liked to switch from very mild to really hard blows with no warning. I thought that's how it's normally done.”

“Did your ex guilt trip you into doing things you didn't like?” Merlin asks.

“I guess he did,” Arthur says after a short pause.

“Did he do things to you even when you told him to stop?” Merlin asks.

“Yes,” Arthur says, his voice small, after an even longer pause.

“Did he force himself on you without your active consent?” Merlin asks, already dreading the answer.

“We were dating,” Arthur says as if it was an automatic response.

“It doesn't matter. Even if you were married for ten years he'd still need your consent,” Merlin says. 

“He made sure I came every single time,” Arthur says, but Merlin can see it's just an attempt to hide from the truth. It might even be a line his ex kept repeating to him to justify his actions. 

“But did you want it?” Merlin asks quietly.

At that moment, he realizes just how horrible the situation is. He thought Arthur's ex was just a bad Dom, but he didn't expect him to be straight up abusing Arthur.

“What do you want me to say?” Arthur asks, his voice raised, defensive.

He stands up from the bench and takes a few steps forward. 

“I think I should go home,” he says.

“Okay,” Merlin says, fishing out his business card and handing it to him. “Just call or email me if you need someone to talk to.”

 

*

 

Arthur texts him the next day.

‘I’m sorry I ran out on you,’ the text says and Merlin answers with simple ‘don’t worry about it.”

Three more days later, Arthur texts him again.

‘Could we meet?”

 

*

 

They’re back in the park, again with coffee, even sitting on the same bench. 

“I just thought something like this could never happen to me,” Arthur says when they exhaust the topic of unusually warm weather, both reluctant to bring up what needs to be discussed. “I already told you I’m a manager in Pendragon Industries. I’m its CEO in fact,” he says matter-of-factly. “I need to be always in control, always on top of the situation, and I guess that’s why I was always more than happy to give up control in the bedroom, even in vanilla sex. I thought I could never be manipulated, that I’d notice.”

It’s obvious it’s taking a lot of Arthur to say all this. He isn’t the type to easily admit his mistakes.

“Before Cendred, I didn’t even realize how much I needed to let go off control. I didn’t know how much I needed to hear the words of praise. But once he showed me, it was like I suddenly couldn’t live without it.”

“Did you say Cendred?” Merlin asks.

“Yes,” Arthur says.

“Cendred Reed?”

“Do you know him?” Arthur asks.

“He used to frequent the club until he got his membership revoked for breaking the rules,” Merlin says, now able to put a face to the stranger he’s been wanting to kick in the balls since Saturday. “Two of his subs complained he didn’t react to their safe word.”

“Well, they were smarter than me,” Arthur says with a bitter smile.

“They were no first timers. You can’t blame yourself,” Merlin says. “How did you even get to know him?”

“We met at this party, a fundraiser for some charity,” Arthur says, leaning away to toss his empty cup into the bin. “He was charming in his own way and before I knew it we were on our fourth date and tumbling into bed together. He was so sure I’d like to be dominated, even when he tried it on me first time, just tying my hands together. Still don’t understand how he could have known.”

“There are signals,” Merlin says, “I knew you were sub before we even talked.”

Arthur looks at him, surprised.

“Plus men in high positions of power tend to enjoy letting go of that power in the bedroom,” Merlin says. “Hate to break it to you but you’re not a special flower in this aspect,” Merlin says, aiming for cheeky not mocking.

Arthur chuckles and Merlin smiles at him in return.

“We sent word about him through the whole network of private clubs in England, so he didn’t have any other choice than to find his prey somewhere else,” Merlin says, apologetic.

“Not your fault either,” Arthur says and for a while they drift off into comfortable silence, lost in thoughts. 

“I was wondering why you failed to mention you actually own Avalon,” Arthur says eventually.

“You were so nervous you’d have run for the hills if you knew,” Merlin says. “And I really wanted to top you.”

Arthur shakes his head, looking about ready to deny such an accusation, but then he smiles, saying, “you’re probably right.”

 

*

 

“Shift a bit forward for me,” Merlin says, guiding Arthur closer to the edge of the chair. “That’s it. Are you comfortable?” he asks, waiting for a nod before securing Arthur’s legs to the leg rests of the examination chair.

He drags three elastic bands across his arms and torso to restrain his general movement.

“Try not to move too much or I’ll have to tape you down. You know what that would mean,” he says, playing with the soft hair on Arthur’s chest.

He leans down to kiss Arthur on the lips, knowing it will help him settle, calm his nerves. 

“Perfect,” he says when he pulls away, caressing Arthur’s cheek.

He moves to sit in between Arthur’s thighs, nudges them more apart, and pulls on surgical gloves. Arthur’s breath hitches as he watches him pour lube onto his fingers. He bites his lip when Merlin smears the lube around his hole which spasms at the touch. Merlin circles it for a while, teasing, moves his other hand up to Arthur’s lower belly. He stands up, locks his eyes with Arthur’s.

“Don’t hold your breath,” he says and starts pressing two of his fingers in. “Breathe,” he reminds Arthur as he slowly shifts them in and out.

He locates Arthur’s prostate and starts working it in gentle circles. Arthur’s lips fall open, his gaze turns slightly unfocused. Minutes pass before Merlin wraps his left hand around Arthur’s cock. Arthur’s eyes fall closed and his hips buck up. 

“Keep still,” Merlin reminds him and Arthur grabs the side of the chair, forcing himself not to move.

“You’re doing great,” Merlin says, working Arthur’s cock tighter.

As he can see the sign of the approaching orgasm he clamps his hand tight around the base of Arthur’s cock but doesn’t stop massaging his prostate. When he does the same for the third time, Arthur breaks, his hips pressing up, one of his hands trying to grasp his own cock. 

Merlin lets go of his cock and catches Arthur’s hand instead, pressing it down against his belly. He looks at him sternly, lips pressed into a tight line in concentration, but he knows it was a bad thing to do the moment Arthur turns his head away, his eyes squeezed shut.

“Colour?” he asks, pulling his fingers out of Arthur’s body carefully, lessening the pressure on the hand on his stomach.

Arthur swallows hard and sucks in a breath but doesn’t answer.

“Red? Is it red?” Merlin asks, urgent. 

Arthur nods shakily. 

“Fuck,” Merlin breathes out, quickly removing the bindings and helping Arthur sit up. “I’m sorry,” he says, placing a quick kiss on Arthur’s lips, pulling him in for a hug. “I pushed too hard. You were doing so well.”

“I’m okay. I think it was just reflex,” Arthur says, wiping a stray tear away with his palm. “Cendred used to say the nastiest things when I failed to behave.” 

He leans into Merlin’s touch, lets Merlin kiss him, wrap him in even tighter hug. 

“I don’t know if you do that, but could you fuck me?” Arthur asks, hesitant. 

“Of course,” Merlin says. “Are you sure though?”

Arthur nods.

“How do you want it?”

“The chair will be fine, but otherwise,” he pauses, looking Merlin in the eyes, “could we keep it vanilla?” Arthur asks, his expression open, vulnerable.

Merlin’s first instinct is to say no. To put distance between them. He feels as if someone punched him in the chest, stolen his breath. The pleasant tingling he’s been trying to ignore in the past three weeks since meeting Arthur, during their time spent with chatting over coffee and discussions about limits, is back full force, spreading through his whole body, and if he doesn’t back off now, he won’t be able to later. 

For Merlin, there’s a difference between BDSM play and vanilla sex. While he has no problems doing the first casually, the latter he has linked with feelings, especially if there already are foundations the feelings can grow on.

Arthur’s hopeful smile dims as moments pass without any answer.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want,” he says, dejected, and it pushes Merlin, gives him courage to speak.

“If we do this I won’t be able to let go,” he says.

“What?” Arthur asks.

“There’s a huge chance I’ll fall for you.”

“And… that’s a bad thing?” Arthur asks, leaning away.

“I don’t know,” Merlin says and steps away from the chair.

He realizes the absurdity of the situation.

“Damn it, Merlin, I just pretty much asked you for a pity fuck. That’s how massive my crush on you is. Does that help?”

“What?” It’s Merlin’s turn to be confused.

Arthur only shrugs, pouting in the most adorable way possible.

“Okay,” Merlin says, mostly to himself. “Okay.” He grabs a blanket from the bed and wraps it around Arthur’s shoulders. “We’re doing this properly. No vanilla sex before first date.”

“You’re lucky I know all the best restaurants,” Arthur says and pull Merlin in for a kiss.

 

*

 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Arthur swears, his second orgasm dragged from him by Merlin’s precisely aimed thrusts. “This was supposed to be vanilla,” he pants, shivering as Merlin speeds up, seeks his own pleasure.

“This is vanilla,” Merlin whispers into his ear once he collapses on top of Arthur, content and sated. “You still haven’t seen me at my kinkiest.”

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Arthur was abused in his past relationship without realizing it. On top of the emotional abuse, Arthur's partner was a bad Dom, ignored Arthur's safe words and guilt tripped him into doing stuff he didn't like. All of this is only mentioned in the fic, not graphically described.
> 
>  
> 
> [My tumblr.](http://elirwen.tumblr.com)


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